Someone I know was stabbed to death over the weekend. I hardly knew this person, he was a friend of a lot of my close friends. My interactions with him while he was alive were short and sour. I thought he was a dick. When I found out about his death I felt horrible, in a selfish way. I felt bad that his death had no affect on me. I felt bad that I only knew him as this insufferable asshole that I occasionally saw at parties. I felt even worse that my memories of him were so bad that I couldn’t properly mourn his death. I don’t even really have the right to mourn his death but it feels awful to only have bad memories about someone who died in such a gruesome and unjust way. I feel even worse for my friends who knew him for a long time and saw the good in him that I am sure existed and that I was never able to see. I mostly just feel guilty for disliking him while he was alive because really no one deserves to loose their life that early and in the way he did. Anyways I’m just thinking about this because I’m on the bus and I passed the intersection where he was stabbed and a police photographer was there snapping pictures.